Brit Slang

Have a butcher's ...	means to take a look at something. Have a butcher's at the rest of my website, if you like.
You stupid git!	is a mildly impolite way of telling someone that they're an idiot. Not considered particularly rude.
Gordon Bennett!	is an exclamation that means "oh my goodness". Gordon Bennett, it's cold in England today! I have no idea who Gordon Bennett was. Don't really care, either.
Up the creek ...	means to be in trouble. The Australian cricket team is up the creek at the moment. A variant on this is "up the creek without a paddle".
Splash my boots ...	means to go and urinate, or go to the bathroom. Or go to the bog, which is another way of saying it here.
Bloody hell!	is a stronger version of "Gordon Bennett". Won't upset most people, but very refined old ladies (or gentlemen) might faint on hearing it. Alternative equivalents include "bleeding hell" and "sodding hell"
Load of bollocks ...	means a load of rubbish. Bollocks is slang over here for "testicles". "Oh bollocks" is a very good stress-relieving exclamation when everything is going wrong.
A bit of a rick ...	means a mistake. I made a big rick when I spilled my dinner on the floor the other day.
What's your game?	means what are you up to? Usually said from one adult to another, not from adult to naughty child.
I fancy your mother ...	means I'm attracted to your mother. Brits "fancy" lots of things. I fancy a cup of tea is an often-heard phrase.
Right old slapper ...	is a not very nice way of referring to a woman who doesn't care who she sleeps with. I cannot think of an equivalent phrase for a man who is like that.
How's your father ...	is a slang expression for sex, or a roll in the hay, as we also say. "Nookie" is another snigger-worthy means of referring to sex.
Balls up ...	means a situation that has gone completely wrong. I have known a few projects of work that could be described as total balls ups!
Cobblers!	means "rubbish!". If someone tells me that I don't look a day over 50, my reply would be ... cobblers!
Syrup ...	is slang for a wig - from rhyming slang, syrup of figs. My, that's a nice-fitting syrup you're wearing today!
Crumpet ...	means an attractive and desirable woman. As in, wow, she's a nice bit of crumpet! A similar word is "tart", though that is not as complimentary as "crumpet".
Winding me up ...	means you're playing a joke on me, or a slightly nicer way of saying "taking the piss". "Taking the Michael" is a nice way of saying the previous phrase.
Can't be arsed ...	means can't be bothered. I can't be arsed to go into work today, and I can't be arsed to answer the phone, either!
Fanny ...	In the UK, "fanny" means vagina. So, when I hear someone on a US TV programme talking about slapping someone on the fanny, it makes me smile!
Arse, Bum	The backside, bottom. Equivalent to the American "fanny" or "ass".
Adam and eve it ...	is rhyming slang for "believe it". I can't Adam and Eve it that the England cricket team is playing so well.
Two bob bits	This is also rhyming slang for ... diarrhoea. I'm sure you can guess what the final word rhymes with.
Get your arse in gear ...	Hurry up! Get a move on! For example, get your arse in gear or we're going to be late.
Mental	Someone who is referred to as "mental" is mad, not behaving like a rational human being.
Plonker	means an idiot, fool. Also a slang term for "penis". There's usually no confusion over which meaning is intended
Pansy	An effeminate man. Many people think that soccer players are a bunch of pansies
Knackered	means tired or worn out. The hot weather leaves me feeling totally knackered.
Knackers	is slang for "testicles". Nothing to do with being "knackered" - unless of course you've been over-using your knackers ...
Iron hoof	is slang for a gay man. It's actually rhyming slang for "puff", which means the same thing. Note, not necessarily a derogatory term
Faggot	is a meat ball made form pork or beef. Not the same as the American meaning of the term!
Off your trolley ...	About the same as "mental", see above
Dogs bollocks	Nothing to do with testicles, something is the "dogs bollocks" if it's the best or really good.
Gawd blimey	means "oh my goodness"! Sometimes abbreviated to "blimey". Not as offensive as "bloody hell"
Two bob bits	is rhyming slang for ... diarrhoea. If you can't see why, think what the last word might rhyme with ...
Bog	A word meaning toilet. One of my favourite pieces of slang!
Keep your hair on	Keep calm. Always a good piece of slang to use against someone who is a bit thin on top!
Off your trolley	Going mad. Refers to someone who perhaps is throwing a tantrum in a public place
Delhi belly	Refers to having a bad stomach. Comes from the (very old and outdated) idea that some Indian restaurants don't serve the healthiest of food
Pansy	A term that refers to an effeminate man. My father uses it all the time about modern footballers.
Filth	A derogatory term that is used about the police in the UK.
Old bill	As for "filth", but not so bad in meaning. Most people will be happy to use this term. "Rozzers" is another term used to refer to the police. Again, not complimentary!
Spanner monkey	A derogatory term to refer to mechanics, especially car mechanics at a garage
Trouble and strife	Rhyming slang for "wife". I'm not sure this is used very much these days.
Battle-axe	A term for a formidable woman, especially one who is advancing in years - like my mother
Old biddy	Another expression for an old woman, not a nasty expression but not flattering either
A bit tasty	How Brit men refer to a woman who is attractive and who they would like to have sex with ...
Boozer	Slang for "pub". Not used very much these days, as far as I can tell.
Round the twist	Going mad. Often used against people who try to offer an argument that is clearly nonsense
Play a straight bat	To be honest and upright. The term comes from the correct way to bat in the game of cricket
Bleeding	An alternative to "bloody". Famously used by Basil Fawlty when accusing his wife of "stating the bleeding obvious"
Bugger off	Clear off! It's all a matter of taste as to whether you use this term or the next one in the list!
Sod off	Clear off! The term "sod" can also be used on its own to refer to someone you don't like very much.
Namby pamby	A term often used against men to suggest that they are not taking the most manly course in dealing with a situation
Hoity toity	Used against someone who is arrogant and tries to suggest that his or her opinion is better than everyone else's.
Hanky panky	An old-fashioned term to refer to sex, especially sex snatched quickly, wherever possible, rather than in the bedroom
Stone the crows	equals "oh my goodness". One of my favourites phrases when things are going against me!
Cop a load of that	Means "take a look at that". In Brit English, to "cop" something means to receive something.
Big girl's blouse	A term that refers to a man who is taking a slightly girly way of dealing with a situation
Toff	Refers to someone from the upper classes (the class system is alive and well in the UK) and who behaves in that way
Scum of the earth	The lowest life you can come across. Often used by football fans against the opposition teams.
Common as muck	Just another way of saying that someone is common (i.e. lacking the basic social graces)
Dosser	Someone who tries to find the easiest way through life, i.e. doesn't work and lives off social benefits
Yank	A term that is neither flattering or derogatory, to refer to Americans. To we Brits, all Americans are "yanks"
Frog	The term we use to refer to the French. Again this is not necessarily intended as a derogatory term, but refers to their liking of eating frogs legs.
Up the duff	A crude way of saying that someone is pregnant. Another way is to say that "she has a bun in the oven".
Taffy	An old-fashioned and outdated term that the English use to refer to the Welsh.
Jock	An old-fashioned and outdated term that the English use to refer to the Scottish people.
Paddy	An old-fashioned and outdated term that the English use to refer to the Irish.
Silver top	One of my favourite pieces of slang, this term means "an old person", and is a reference to their silver hair, which looks like the silver tops on glass milk bottle
Bunce	Means "money" or "assets", especially when lots of money is involved!
Brummie	Refers to someone who hails from Birmingham, or to the accent that Midlanders have. For example, "he has a classic Brummie accent".
No sweat	Not a problem. "Running the marathon? No sweat". In other words, I won't break out into a sweat doing it.
Blighty	A quaint and old-fashioned way of referring to Great Britain, not really used very much these days
Old barge	A term used to refer to older folk who have accumulated a few pounds along the way - particularly old women.
Lads	The ways we refer to men who act like men, for example who go to the pub, like women, etc ...
Come a cropper	To have an accident. For example falling off a ladder while cleaning windows
Lard-arse	Refers to someone who is fat and overweight. Lard is animal fat that is used for cooking over here. Not so common though in these PC times we live in.
Pip-squeak	Often used about men who are not posing the threat that you would expect a "real" man to pose. For example, a 7-stone weakling who challenges a muscle-man to a fight
Fag	The usual slang over here for a cigarette. I accept that this can cause some confusion when used in the USA!
Gob	Mouth. Often used against folk who have to much to say for themselves. "She's got a big gob on her" means "she talks too much"!
Jug-ears	Used against people who have ears that stick out. My brother was once thrown out of a hotel for poking fun at a guy who had jug ears.
Cream crackered	Is rhyming slang for knackered, meaning tired. Typing this article will leave me feeling cream crackered.
Nancy boy	This is old fashioned slang meaning an effeminate man. I'm not sure this is really used very much these days. At least not by me!
Scouser	Scouser is slang for someone who comes from Liverpool. If you like, the Beatles were "Scousers".